Episode VII

[thiago]

I can't remember the last time I felt relaxed. I don't feel safe by any means, but the nausea, the shaking, the headache, the distraction... it has all vanished. I feel more like myself again. I hated the way I felt during this last round. I don't know if I've ever been in a more intense situation. I know there's more to come, but damn!

I constantly felt I was being lied to. I was so worried that people didn't trust me or felt i had an idol and instead everyone voted as planned. I feel a lot more well-received than I thought. I know Tina wasn't happy with the vote but my goal this week was to make sure a fan did not leave and my goal was successful.

Bree turned on us. I am not positive, and will need to speak with her, but Gloria has been very open with me and I am confident she voted for Tina with Starr and myself. Gloria seems to trust me a lot and I need to work on making sure she does not think I am closer to Starr. The reality is that I don't yet know where I place Starr in my plans. I think Starr is such a wildcard but she has put faith in me, but the minute Starr feels in power without anxiety she will turn on my most certainly. She has to see at this point that I am a huge threat for her the longer we last together.

I want to take the opportunity to regain Bree's trust. Right now she has to feel completely destroyed. Before Chad reels her in, I need to be the one who comforts her, tells her it's okay, and solidify her as a person who will not vote for me. The fact remains that if we do go to Judgment again, which I hope not, I need to avoid a tie situation at the Final 4, and I can't risk it in my game to have both Gloria and Chad together in the 4.

I think Gloria made a mistake this week. I like Gloria very much, and I owe my safety to her, but she shouldn't have voted off Tina. Tina was not harmful to her game. I did tell Gloria that Tina mentioned voting her but it was harmless. I did make it into a bigger deal to make Gloria vote off Tina. I do feel a little grimy but Gloria should have known better than to completely jump ship for the fans. I do value her and I hope we can go far together, but my loyalty will always be with Mark/Zac and the boys, for the most part. Perhaps she will replace Gabe/Knox. We'll see who is left at 12, when I believe we will merge.

I cannot trust Chad. Chad was really cocky all round and I didn't like it. He made me feel petrified. I fear Chad because he is very nonchalent but he is a strategic thread most definitely, although his efforts failed this week. He says he's totally cool about the Tina vote but I don't buy it at all. Chad likes to be in control and he is absolutely pissed about how he flipped Bree and still lost his pregame alliance in Tina. I have to be very careful around Chad because he will behave very nonthreatening but he is as dangerous as ever, most certainly. Chad is my enemy, he just doesn't know it yet. The social guy with hidden strategic and challenge talents is my gig, bucko!

Right now I need to keep social with these people and hopefully dominate challenges. I have an alliance with all of Reliquum right now (thankfully Julian is gone) so I would like them to win challenges too. I'm sure Mark and his right-hand-man Zac are taking care of things there. I would love to see Admonitio go to Judgment over and over. I don't know them and they seem to be in a strong alliance. I have already made inroads with Gloria, and I think Chad will run back to them, so having less of them is useful to me.

I'm at a point where I need to continue playing a defensive game. I played very defensively the entire time on Reliquum, using information to gain the trust of others and build strong alliances. I played passively aggressive last round by appearing open minded and lost, which made Gloria feel she can use me. I think the more likeable and unthreatening I appear, the more likely people will want to play with me instead of realizing that I am a massive threat in the game. I'm being patient, slowly building protection around me. I can't guarantee that no one will turn on me at any point, but the more people that feel a sense of loyalty to me, the more likely I will be informed the minute something goes wrong. Mark has the idol and surely will give it to me in the case of my safety being at risk, so having information about me being a target can always be offset if I can't work my way out of it socially.

I have to be very watchful of how people regroup after such a pivotal vote. That initial rebound can be very strong, so I need to make sure people rebound to me rather than against me, which I will do with easing their worries and promising that I, too, feel nervous, and we can be nervous together... even if I don't.

[thiago]

We won immunity! This is great news. I could use the time to breathe and let things also breathe on our tribe. It has been so chaotic a little time to solidify some people is generally a great thing.

I'm not too happy Reliquum is losing yet another. I figure Knox will go, although it could be Gabe. I'm very happy Admonitio is going but it still keeps the Fan/Favourite numbers out of whack. I know that the likelihood of the game being strictly Fans VS. Favourites come the merge is not likely, but I want to be prepared.

Starr has told me that she has patched things up with Chad since the vote and that Chad wants me safe, so he is targetting Bree. Starr also wants to target Bree because Bree went on a soliloquy about who her alias and now Starr wants her gone, but is leading her on. Bree also told me everything. I guess Bree was also in this "Fido Survivor" game with Tina/Chad/Starr when everyone turned against Starr for deleting the things on the forum. By some crazy luck they all ended up on the same tribe and I guess Bree and Tina/Chad decided to finish what they started and destroy Starr. I think this was very stupid of Bree because she had a good thing going with Starr & I and now she is totally on the outs. I have worked hard to make Bree feel secure with me, so that if she does make the merge she will confide in me and any numbers for me are beneficial to my game. If she's on the jury, she will remember who was the one who comforted her when her game fall to the ground. You're looking at him right here.

Gloria has been lumped in with Starr/Chad's plan to take out Bree, which I haven't heard from Chad himself, and she said she wants to talk tonight with me because she has been working a lot and hasn't really been paying a whole lot of attention. I haven't completely decided how I want to handle things because I do believe we may merge at 12, in which case I don't want to make any solid plans for Judgment in case someone wants to tell that person and then in the merge I have an enemy. I hope Gloria fills me in on some things and that Gloria sees that Starr/Chad have the most strange relationship. I also will tell Gloria about Bree talking poorly about her, saying she can't trust her. I need to make sure I am completely safe if we do indeed go to Judgment.

I copy and pasted everything Bree said about the story with Starr to rev Starr's engine a bit. I told Starr I was showing her so that she would be aware of what Bree is telling people so that Starr can feel at ease and knows what she's saying, but that was certainly not my real motive. I could care less if Starr is a paranoid mess; actually, when she acts crazy it takes eyes off me and keeps me where I want to be. Furthermore, it keeps Starr angry at Bree because Bree's story was more "one sided" and Starr was painted fairly negatively, and this means both Starr and Bree will be more loyal to me than each other, in the event that us 3 ever work together again, which I doubt given Starr's current plans to blindside Bree. It also makes Starr feel I am loyal to her because I will show her conversations from Bree, and Starr is not aware of my relationship with Gloria, so Starr will feel I am most loyal to her, which I am not.

Starr and I "solidified" our "going to the end" together thing today. I wouldn't mind going to the end with Starr simply because she is so polarizing; however, I have every intention of going deep with Mark, Zac, and Gabe/Knox. Those were the boys I gained full trust of early on, and in an end game of them, and possibly Starr/Gloria/Bree, I think I would be guaranteed an end game position. However, this is why I want Fans in the game because if Reliquum was the only tribe in the game, I would have made it to the end no problem.

I do not trust Chad. I think he is very sneaky. I think there is a spoiledness to him. He is entitled and rather lazy when he doesn't care about things; however, when something benefits him he is suddenly very proactive. Chad made a comment today about how he was pissed off that some guy won't sleep with him because the guy's friend got in a car accident. I think this is a really horrible, selfish thing to say and I don't value someone like this. I don't want to play with this type of personality. I also think that Chad, of all people, really sees right through my game. I think he can tell that I'm a social threat and that I fill a similar niche, and this threatens him. He can compliment me all he wants now but I'm not some 16 year old like Starr who constantly needs assurance to feel validated; I'm an adult and I don't want to play with someone as shallow and selfish as him. I am sure he is a nice person deep down, but he seems to have some insecurities that cause him to really put up a guard that I find arrogant and off-putting. I think he certainly has some growing up to do. I wasn't the perfect person when I was 17 either, so I think he definitely has some growing up to do. We just don't see eye to eye right now. If I could somehow get Chad off soon, I would feel very satisfied. I see him running back to the favorites, even though he says Steph/Liam were running the show, I don't buy he wants to work with Starr all the way. Starr and him cannot work; there is too much of a history there. It's too fresh. Starr is getting played by Chad, if you ask me. I hope Starr wakes up.

I really like Gloria and I hope we can play together deep but I have relationships with others that I have to put first, and I think she probably is in a similar situation. We haven't made any deep commitments to one another but I don't believe anyone is aware of how intimate we have been speaking (and no, I don't mean cyber sex okay; that's only for Michael, duh). I think Gloria will need to make a firm commitment to me for me to really consider going far with her. I respect her and I am understanding of whichever way she goes, but I feel there will always be a mutual respect between us which should hopefully work out in case she is on the jury and I am sitting in the Final 3. We'll see where this relationship goes.

If Farrago wins another challenge and we merge at 12, I need to keep Bree close. She is someone who, unless Starr guns for her right away, will go far because she's not a threat. Having a "Sherri" of sorts, who doesn't do much, is always valuable in an intense game like this. I can only hide for so long. Starr says she is going to go under the radar now but I don't know if Starr is really able to quiet down her game. Time will tell.

Mark has the idol so if me, Zac, and Gabe/Knox can team up and they don't all get massively targetted by the Faves, we have a decent shot at shocking people. I do worry about people thinking I have the idol, but with me knowing Mark has it I will always have that information, which means that I can always use the idol if I'm in danger. I do trust Mark would give it to me. He seems to really like me and I also really like him. Zac likely will be closer to him than me now, but that's fine with me. I have time to work on that relationship later, if we merge.

I also know Steph from outside this game, so I may tell her who I am. I know that she will probably feel better knowing I'm in this game, as we did get along well and have worked together many, many years ago. I know how she plays and she tends to always fall for me, so I think that's also a relationship I can exploit to benefit my alliance. I will have to work my social magic on the other Favourites, and I hope I can secure myself a path to the finish. It's going to be a crazy game but for the first time I feel that the end is within reach, and that the cards are placed well, I just need to execute things precisely. It's a whole new game coming and I can taste it. It's going to be wild.

All this patience and hard work and social gaming has resulted in an army of people willing to bat for me, but I have made very few promises which should get me in less trouble than someone who has made a million shallow alliances, whereas I have many uncommited, yet strong friendships. That is not to say that I don't genuinely like these people, because I enjoy a few (mainly Gloria, Mark, Gabe, and Zac), but I have not emotionally attached myself to anyone to the point where I can't vote them off. I was worried earlier in the game about not being able to lie and realizing now that you can still be close to people without commiting. Sure, it may be misinterpreted, but there's nothing worse than being promised and feeling completely safe and being gutted afterwards. I'm not that person. Many of the people in this game seek out blindsiding for enjoyment, which is really sick if you ask me. I don't want to hurt anyone in this game, I simply want to win based on strategic merit. I hope I can make it to the end.

At the end of the day, I can say I am proud of the way that I have played this game. It hasn't been entirely moral or malignant, but it has been fair and I can be proud of that. Cheers,
-T