Round 12 Confessionals

[mark]

I'm so mad I can't even see straight.

That little weasel Knox slithered himself into a position that could either make or break the fans, and it eats all over me. Why? Because he's been a titty baby for two rounds now because nobody takes his input into consideration, because nobody includes him in discussions, because everybody questions his trust....waaaa waaa waaa WAAAAAA. His input has been stupid. Why take out Carly when Chad is stragically sound and charming people that could destroy you? Get over it...you got your way last round. Now it was our turn to call the shots. Why take out Taylor when Ben could run away with immunity? Why take out Taylor now when Ben can STILL run away with immunity, all the while Gloria sits there with her mouth closed, not on anybody's radar, with the smarts to hold onto a sword for just the precise moment. And just wait until she's able to do challenges again to see what she can do. Just you wait. Don't you see, Knox? You're not playing with your head, you're playing with your pride. Not only is that going to land you 4th or 5th-ish, it's going to destroy us. Most importantly me. Now, rest assured, if I get any upper hand in this crazy game, Knox will not get anywhere near even 5th place.

So Knox, you're input is retarded.

My gut was to take Knox out instead of Gabe, but I listened to Zac. I gave him authority and therefore my unwavering loyalty.

I'm not even upset that Starr as gone. I would just as soon have Bree and Starr separated than not. Knox doesn't get to boss us around because he's "busier" than everyone else. That doesn't fly with me. We are ALL busy. We ALL have a life. So, Mr. Glorified Dorm Monitor....try juggling a full time job, a personal business, homeownership, a baby who is turning 1 next week, and a wife who doesn't particularly like you playing Survivor games because it causes you to have to talk to strange people in your own home some nights rather than paying attention to your own family. Do ya get it? I've still had time to do challenges, make connections with everyone, be involved in the larger strategic discussions, and have my input taken into valid consideration. Chew on that one. Or suck on it, whichever you prefer. This may or may not work out for you, but if it does, be prepared to be the third placing humiliated goat who won't even get a chance to explain himself.

End rant.

Only not really...

I'm super pissed at Gloria too. I've tried since the merge to connect with her. I can't tell you how many "hello's" went ignored until she finally found it within her to talk with me the other day. Yes...THREE rounds into the merge. Only to smugly pull out her sword, and then act like it was all my fault. That she had to do it. I tried to have a working relationship with all of them, only to be honored with their vote.

Since this is a game about good and evil, my inner evil is about to be released in a frenzy. Hell hath no fury. But...

I will be the sweetest, most sincere, easy going guy you will ever meet for the duration of this game. Beware, Knox, I'm about to placate you into superiority, and then I will gut you like a pig.

Game.On.

[mark]

I just want to add that I knew something was up. Of course we knew something was up. Knox wouldn't make such a bold statement with his judgment answer. Plus, he threw a wall-eyed fit about not being trusted. Then he went on to tell me he had just voted Ben. There was just a way in witch he said it, that got me wondering all night long. We dismissed the idea that something could be played, even knowing this was still an apple out there. I left work yesterday with a strange feeling that I might need to get and make sure votes were going toward Starr in case something funny happened. But I was taking my wife on a date, and that wouldn't have flown to stall for strategy.

When I got home and saw that a sword was played on Ben...before I even knew who was getting the short end, I knew immediately that Knox had something to do with it. I knew in my heart of hearts.

So Knox comes and I wait and wait and wait...finally *I* make the initiative to talk. Of course we do the whole small talk thing, with the huge elephant standing in the room, and nothing is mentioned. That further solidied something for me. And this happened (my thoughts in red...does that make me like Jesus?):

Mark: So....

Knox: sooooo

Mark: You knew

Knox: What?

What? Really? As if you don't know what. I'm about to catch you read handed.

Mark: ...

Knox: Sorry I was drinking. I'm kinda lost all over.

Please, Knox, keep convincing me more. That's how you play this game.

Mark: You knew

Knox: Why do you say that?

Answering with a question. Knox: 0, Basic Psychology: 1

Mark: Many things

Knox: Okay...?

Mark: For one, you still haven't mentioned what *it* is.

Pause....pause....pause....pause

Mark: Your judgment answer...

pause....pause....pause....pause

Mark: Need I go on?

Knox: Sure!


Ok, so I will throw in a lie. I had already had a nice quaint awkward chat with Gloria, who was very smugh about her sword, when I commended her for holding that little sword in her pocket quietly and pulling it out in the nick of time. "Who says someone didn't give it to me?" she says. Noted.

But I'll lie to Knox.

Mark: And...they told me.

pause....pause....pause....pause

Knox: That's interesting. Yeah, I knew. I wasn't gonna deny it.

Mark, is not amused

Mark: I told you today that if you were going to flip then I was going with you.

Knox: I didn't flip. I voted for Ben.

Mark: Knowing they had firepower. Which means they are close enough to you to give info.

Knox: Look, it's not against you or Zac, like I told you earlier. I like you two and I wanna play with you. You are thinking too much into it. The truth of the matter is, a couple of fans have been talking major shit about me, saying I'm inactive, I'm just a vote, and I'm not playing the game, as well as targetting me for no reason. Soooo, I'm gonna play the game.

Mark: As well, you should. I wish you had told me what you knew, though.

Knox:I couldn't. I wanted to. Trust me. But I didn't want it to turn on me, and I didn't lie. I voted for Ben. I thought there was a chance I was getting votes when Thiago is talking mad shit about me and saying I'm not playing the game, and I know you and Zac ADORE him.

Mark: So where from here?

Knox: I don't know. But I'm not against you...like at all.

Mark: Well, if we give the faves the power...then I go at least. They've all proven how much they want me here.

Knox: I'm not gonna let them touch you. They don't have the power.

Mark: Who do you want to go next?

Though I can already answer this one myself.

Knox: Taylor

Oh, shocker. By all means, let's give Gloria and Ben a chance to run away with immunity, not only after this round, but after the next too. Yes, let's continue on with this strategic non-retardation.

I don't trust you for a second, Knox

Mark: I trust you.

Knox: I wanted Taylor this round. But it was Ben. If it had been Taylor, I wouldn't have told them about the vote. Ben is one of the few people who talk willingly to me. The others are you, Gloria, and Liam.

This is interesting because talking to Gloria is like pulling teeth.

Knox: Everyone else just kind of bosses me around, sometimes Zac, too.

Mark: I mean, I like Gloria and Ben a heck of a lot better than Starr and Bree. The difference is...the two I like better have actively tried to get me out.

Knox: Hmmmm

Yeah, Sherlock. Do ya get it now? Play with your head, not your titty sucker.

Knox: I got you. I won't let them get you out. We'll take Take Taylor out this round either way.

And that, my friends, is how Knox has weasled himself into a position of getting his way. If we don't vote Taylor, he flips...that simple. And thusly, how he's lost all credability with me.

Sorry, Knoxy...if we get rid of Taylor this round, you have doomed yourself.

My preferred boot list would be as such:

Taylor
Gloria
Ben
Knox
Liam
Bree

Mark/Thiago/Zac

[mark]

It's been a crazy weekend, both in my life and in the game. Part of me is just so mad at myself that I misstepped. I ignored all the signs that Knox was showing, even since a long time ago. I mean, if we had thought about the numbers we had, we didn't even need Knox's vote to make Ben's ousting happen. We could have told him Taylor, and it wouldn't have mattered how mad he got after that because it would have been 5 of us to 3 faves and Knox. Knox may or may not have told them Taylor was going so they could use the sword and get it flushed out...it's really all a matter of how truthful Knox is being. If they hadn't used it, we would have taken a hit when it finally was pulled out by the final 6, but I think there are others, namely Starr and Bree that would have taken that hit before me. Still, I blame the tornados. While Cleburne was getting demolished, I just couldn't be bothered with figuring things out, doing a challenge, running to the tv, making sure all was secure in the bathroom....just crazy.

Really, I'm getting to a point in the game when I remember why I haven't played in 2 years. It's hard to spend time doing challenges, though I love doing challenges. It's hard to strategize at all times of the day, particularly when I'm at home and need to pay attention to family. I could go on, but then it would just be insulting I guess. I'm just in a down portion of the game, and it comes from being tired of strategy, constantly being on...I can only imagine what the real game is like out in the wild.

This is what I know as of now. Knox told the faves that we were voting Ben because he wanted to get Starr out on the fly. Good on him. He just has to know, that he needs to be smooth if he's going to be sneaky. I'll find out, for one. But people will...and they won't be happy about it. I don't know if this means he intended to flip or just better his place in our tribe, but he screwed up. The main reason he screwed up is because that night, the elephant was standing plainly in the room, and when he never even mentioned it to me when we talked. I knew he'd been a part of it. This is the reaction he should have had...then I don't think I'd have questioned him:

But alas....he tipped his hand.

It helps that Liam sold him out to Thiago, as if T already didn't know. But that only helps our case. Wow....Liam is something else.

I know Gloria is freaking out. Emotions have come pouring out. I can't be bothered. I tried to connect with her since we merge. Nothing. Not until she was about to brandhish her sword...then nothing again. Can't be bothered. Taylor hasn't signed on to the board in 30 something hours...hasn't competed in a single merge challenge. Yeah. Rich. What a slap in the face to the host and all of us who care about the time we put into this game. And Gloria wants to protect him, yet says Zac doesn't deserve to be here. Hypocrite. And Ben. Oh Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben. He talks to me like we are best friends. I don't know if he really thinks I'm that close to him and will flip for his benefit or not. It reeks of player, and I am not affected. In fact, I will not hesitate to blinside him out of this game when I get the chance, I will convince him I am flipping to the zero hour. You watch.

Right now, our plan is to follow through and vote Taylor. And next to all plan on voting Bree, but I will give the sword over. This all hinges on the fact that Knox is truly voting Taylor.

I guess we will see in just 5 short hours.