Do I have a dark side? Sure I do. I did some morally questionable things in this game to get ahead and secure my future in the game; however, I never did anything unnecessarily evil or hurtful for "fun"; there was a strong strategic case behind each move I made.
I did not use Gloria and toss her to the side at all. Gloria was someone I bonded with very well right from the start. I felt I was talking to a real person. We talked about a lot of things and I always found myself messaging her, not to talk game, but just to chat. I really found someone there that I had compassion for and really, truly wanted to play the game with her because, much like Mark, we had a similar mindset. She was always so secure, and being such a nervous person, I felt comforted by that.
On Farrago, we worked really well together. I looked out for her when Tina suggested targetting her. At the merge, I continued to stress to people that Gloria couldn't compete in challenges so we shouldn't vote her off. At the F10, Gloria had completed the last round where she couldn't play in challenges, and could compete in immunity the following round. I told everyone in our Fan discussion group that we shouldn't vote for Gloria because she couldn't play in the next IC, and no one checked the facts on that one or at least never challenged me. If I recall correctly, Bree was pushing hard for a Gloria boot at the F10 and even Mark, privately, was pushing the same. However, I couldn't lose Gloria because I had a strategic and personal bond with her.
Unfortunately, we were never able to work together. Yes, I did exploit information that she gave me in confidence, but it was never to hurt her. However, when I saw her defending Knox so strongly, and when she had a mini break down with me explaining that she felt horrible because she may have to vote me off, and that she came to win this time and not play with her heart, I decided that we couldn't work together and that I had to play for myself.
By the Final 8, I had firmly planted Knox against Liam, so Bree/Zac/Mark/myself could do whatever we wanted. When the idol clue came out, I realized that it had to be Gloria. She found idols very well, and if she didn't find it now, she'd find it later. On top of that, she put her all in challenges even when she was at work. I realized that Gloria was a threat to my game and that with her working with my enemies, I would simply be sacrificing my game for someone that I had met in a game, and I could never be sure if our relationship was real, given the confines of this game.
I can say that personally, I felt absolutely destroyed after the Gloria vote. I had purposely mislead someone that I knew cared so much about this game to her own demise, with an idol in her pocket. I just had to make sure she felt safe so she wouldn't play an idol and ruin my entire game. I felt so awful on a personal level, but on a strategic level I knew I had just secured myself a Final 3 spot, so it was so conflicting. I had to take a break from the game for a bit and I was rarely online for almost 2 days. I had really been affected that round and had great difficulty sleeping. I am a very emotional person, although I had tried hard not to show it, and it has worked well for me until this point. I'm an INFJ Myers-Briggs personality, in case you're interested in that stuff:
www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.htmlI touched on this in Knox's thread, so I'll reformat it for you if that's alright. I also still am not sure of what you mean in your second question in this part.
I didn't know exactly the nature of Knox's relationship with Gloria. I had heard rumours, and to be honest I really don't remember who told me, that Knox and Gloria possibly knew each other in real life. However, in the game, I knew that Knox was close to Gloria beyond the game for 5 reasons:
1) Gloria had told me way back on Farrago that there were 3 people in the game that she felt she had an emotional investment in that would make it difficult for her to vote them off: she said one was me, and there were 2 others but she would never tell me who.
2) Knox fessed up to Mark about telling the Faves about the vote, and Gloria was the one who played her idol on Ben. The fact that Gloria played it on someone, rather than transferred it to someone, indicated to me that Gloria, who I knew didn't tell many people, if any, about her idol, was directly told by someone about the vote, which we knew was Knox.
3) When I asked Gloria about whether Knox were one of the other 2 people she had an emotional investment in, she gave me a non-answer which indicated to me that Knox had a bond that certainly didn't form at the merge.
4) When I asked Gloria if Liam or Knox was lying, she sided with Knox over the Liam, saying Liam lied, which meant she had more loyalty to Knox than Liam, who she had been on a tribe with much longer, so that confirmed to me that Knox had to be very close to her, and given we had only merged for about a week or so and Knox had personal stuff going on, it didn't make sense for his relationship with her to be as strong as it was given Knox and her had just "met" a week ago.
5) Liam later sent me a PM of Gloria telling everyone that a fan told her they were willing to flip and that she trusted her gut that the fan was honest. She wouldn't tell the Favorites upfront who it was, which meant she was protecting them, which to me seemed strange if Knox and Gloria had only just met.
I never viewed Gloria and Knox's relationship as something to be upset about, it simply threatened by game and I wanted to take care of it as soon as possible.
I don't think my relationship with Bree was ever what it seemed. She was never my #1 closest ally in the game, and we didn't make every decision together.
On most of my time on Reliquum, even though we were in the Culture4 together, we never chatted much. Starr was more of a liaison between us. Starr had told me that Bree was suspicious of my relationships with other tribe members outside our alliance, so I was wary of Bree very early on.
At the sacrifice I took a bullet for my alliance of guys and took the risk so that it wouldn't go to chance. I wanted to keep a majority of my boys on NuReliquum and also take the opportunity to mingle with some Faves before the merge. However, due to circumstances outside the game, and due to incredible luck that 4 people who had a big fight shortly before the game all ended up on the same tribe, Bree flipped on us out on no where and voted for Starr.
At this point, I wasn't happy with Bree. However, Starr was livid and wanted to make Bree think she was good with her, but Bree was toast, because Gloria came to me and said Bree is going next and that they want to throw the challenge to take her out.
I saw this as an opportunity to swoop in, much like I did with Mark in Round 2, and take Bree under my wing when she was at her most vulnerable. Sure, it was calculated, but I genuinely felt bad for Bree because she did really recognize that she made a huge mistake and I think that she deserved another chance. Also, I really wanted to keep as many fans in as possible so we'd have options at the merge. Bree finally dropped her schtick with me and told me everything about her pre-game issues with Starr. I tried to work as a liaison between both Starr and Bree to try and patch things up between them both as possible, because strategically I wanted them on the same page. However, on a personal level, I could see exactly why they were butting heads because they both gave me their side of the story and it was clear that they both wanted to be friends, but had all these hang ups. I wanted them to make up because it was disheartening to see them fighting over something that they could easily move on from.
I forced myself to compete in the challenge so that I could win it for Farrago and protect Bree. I also constantly encouraged Gloria to keep trying in her 4x4 puzzle, because I knew that the harder I pushed her the less likely she would throw the challenge because then she knew I would be unhappy with her and she didn't want to make an enemy in me over it. Needless to say, we didn't throw it and Bree survived.
At the merge, Bree began to distrust Chad, who was really her only other ally at the merge beside me and somewhat Starr. After he left, Bree knew sticking with the fans was her best bet, and from there on out we grew closer and closer. Knox made a mistake which took him out of our group, and he took out Starr along with him, so Bree was able to slide into the Fan F4.
It was difficult for me to vote for Bree because we did grow very close; however, Zac and Mark never wavered in their loyalty to me, and Bree turned on me on Farrago. It took until the merge for her to really open up with me. It was nearly impossible to talk to her on Reliquum when she was schticking, so I felt I had been open with Zac and Mark for a much longer period of time, so voting out Bree just made sense for me on numerous levels, although it was difficult.
The round that Knox left, Bree had wanted to make Liam/Ben feel she was on their side so she wanted to make a faux F4 with them 2 and me and her. I didn't agree to this because I knew I was not taking Liam or Ben there and it was unnecessary to just betray people like that for no reason, or at least not a sound enough reason, strategically. So it wasn't really me and Bree flipping together making a power move as a couple; rather, it was me being given all the power because Bree wanted Liam/Ben to trust her, and didn't mind if I voted for Liam, and Mark/Zac wanted me to vote for Liam, but I didn't want them to have too much power as I knew Knox was more in their corner than mine given he wanted to turn on Bree and myself earlier, so I voted off Knox.
I honestly wish I could tell you. There were many times in my confessional where I was scratching my head as to why people would always come to me with information. I'm not sure if there's an aspect to my personality that made people feel comfortable, or if I was able to appear like a flexible vote, but it certainly came in use having information at all times in the game. Even Gloria would feed me information that happened on Admonitio, and why she wasn't too pleased with you all for voting off Beau, and she was very unhappy with Steph leaving.
I wanted to monitor the flow of strategy rather than force it in any direction once the Fans I brought together took control at the merge. This made me appear less aggressive, and being one of the most well-informed people in the game, I could always make decisions with almost all the pieces of the puzzle. I just need to sit back and let people present their plans to me and, without fully commiting to any of them, I could make the decision that benefited me the best.
To answer your question, it could be because I was likable, but I can't know for sure. As a result, I have to say that I was just very lucky that people trusted me enough to say things to me, and that the stars alligned in ways that made people come to me when they really shouldn't have. I think luck played a large factor there. I surely can't take credit for everything, some has to be left up to chance.
I feel like I answered this question already in my post somewhere, but if you need more please let me know!
1. GLORIA, the GHOST. I don't mean she was invisible, but it was difficult to ever get a read on her, she didn't show much of anything, but everyone loves a friendly ghost! She did so well in challenges it's like she just walked through the competition with ease, and she found idols no problem, and she could see things that some of us couldn't see... and most important... her strength scared the shit out of most of us! Most people fear ghosts, and I think Gloria was certainly a feared force in this game. I'd love to see her play again.
2. BEN, the WARRIOR. You fought hard to the last damn second. The only reason I don't have Liam on this list is because you both fit a similar niche, and although Liam went further, I do think you were the "hero" for the second half of the game. You must be like Rupert or something on the T.V. show because in both seasons you've been the sympathetic underdog who got screwed over by other people. Your fight is courageous, although I think you played a more confident, dominant game pre-jury, you never gave up even when your confidence was rocked at the merge. To come up just short in both season is an amazing feat. I'd love to see you come back and win.
3. THIAGO, the PUPPETMASTER. Maybe this sounds like I'm tooting my own horn a bit, but I do think that while many people felt they had the game figured out, I was always the one who could step back, see everyone else's game, and plan accordingly. Of course there were times where I didn't feel in control, especially while on Farrago, but on Reliquum and the Shakira tribe I really did have a clear view of the game and dictated the direction that my group of Fans went. Of course, I wasn't a dictator like any good leader, but I was always able to make sure that, on my side of things, the game went according to my plans.
4. MARK, the WOLF. Mark was fiercly loyal to those in his pack, and was incredibly parasitic in his relationships with people outside the pack. He was able to extract information from many people and was always fierce in challenges. I'd love to see how far he would go again if given the opportunity, since he's such a lovable, brilliantly intelligent guy.
5. STARR, the SLEUTH. Starr was always trying to get information from people without being direct. She ran an strong alliance early on and the game revolved around her for the entire pre-jury portion of the season. She was unlucky when an idol was played and it would be great to see her redeem herself and see how far she can go again.
6. BREE, the COCKROACH: Bree would simply never die. She was constantly getting votes, getting into arguments, but found herself in a majority alliance which she contributed to. I'd love to see her play a new game where she has to play hard from the start, and not lay low at first. I think without a schtick Bree could have been a pretty violent force in the game, which would have made for some fun drama for sure.
1. The three main components for survivor are outwit, outlast, and outplay. Explain how you embodied not only these three components, but also three other characteristics of any survivor game. Tell me how you are social, strategic, and physical. In total, I am looking for six explanations (outwit, outlast, outplay, social, strategic, physical).Outwit: I had nearly everyone in the game fooled. I was able to keep my counter alliance on Reliquum with the boys completely a secret until now. I had both alliances certain I would go all the way with them.
Outplay: I think all of us up here outplayed. We made the right moves together to advance our team forward. I maneuvered strategically to advance myself and my team in this game: took out Chad with an idol, took out Knox, took out Gloria with an idol.
Outlast: This much is clear.
Social: I dominated socially. I got to know everyone in this cast, for the most part, very well. Note my answers in Chad's jury question about how well we got to know the jurors.
I think it has been hammered home this Final Judgment that my social game was very strong, so I don't want to sound like a broke record.
Physical:
Let's compare myself to my competition.
Mark and Zac both won 2 tribal challenges.
I won 4 tribal challenges.
Mark won 1 pre-merge individual immunity.
Mark won 2 merge individual immunities.
I won 3 merge individual immunity challenges.
Zac didn't win anything individual.
Mark and me tied for individual challenges won. For total challenge wins, I beat Mark by 2, and Zac by 5. So physically, I do beat out my competition, especially since I never sat out in any tribe challenge.
Strategic: I think my moves have been outlined during this Final Judgment so far, so I really don't want to just repeat myself over and over and bore you. I think at one point it just begins to sound conceited and narcissistic.
If there are any other questions you wish to ask me Ben, please do not hesistate.
I did want to address one thing to you, as a juror, in an attempt to earn your vote.
I know that you play this game with your heart and head as one. You make strategic decisions that take your heart into consideration, and vice versa. I know it is probably difficult for you to vote for someone that you feel ignored what his heart said sometimes. I know that I may not have been the closest person to you in this game, but I don't believe that voting for Zac or Mark matches your own gaming philosophy.
I want to ask you if my betrayals of Gloria, or Bree for example, were any different, or even less severe, than Mark or Zac's? Mark never had any intention of working with you, yet he continued to grow close to you only to wait until he no longer had use of you. The question you asked me about my relationship with Gloria is what truly applies to Mark's relationship with you.
Zac always viewed you as a threat. Sure, you both got along, but Zac was always going to vote you off. Both Mark and him did it twice. Neither of them put up a fight either time we voted for you.
I told you, and I was being honest, that I tried to not get close to you because I knew the allure you had on people. I knew that I would really fall for you in a non-homo-maybe-homo-who-knows way. I saw what happened in Season 3, how difficult it was for those girls to turn on you. I know that we will get along outside of this game, but within the game I knew that you did not have a place in my game, so I did not allow myself to get attached to you. That is not to say that I ignored you at all, but I didn't allow myself to share anything too personal because I feared getting attached to someone who could seriously derail the game I had worked so hard to build.
Mark and Zac make it seem like their relationship with you was so solid, but I don't see what is so noble about befriending someone to the lengths they did when they both never had any intention of taking you there, ever. If you ask me, this is having a dark side and was not necessary. Not once did any information you gave to them really benefit the Fan's game, which is something to be proud of, given how many Favourites gave up information when they shouldn't, which I understand must have been really frustrating for you as a clever player yourself. You kept your mouth shut and when you did say something, it was never anything game-changing for us. I many times found myself questioning why Mark and Zac were doing that, because I have no doubt in my mind that they never planned on taking you deep, unless it was to target someone even more threatening. If you ask me, that's having a dark side.
I ask you, if the tables were reversed, given I have a closer relationship with Liam and Gloria than I did with you, and you 3 were the F3, and I said to you that I have a tough time voting for you because I got closer to the other two, what would you say? Even if Gloria made a disasterous mistake telling me the vote was Mark, and holding off playing her idol until the Faves were 2 people down, and even if Liam opened his mouth when he shouldn't have on a couple of key occasions, would you think I should vote for them, simply because I liked them more? You may be a player with your heart, but you're no dummy to strategy, and someone who has such keen intellect when it comes to strategy and common sense in the game, like yourself, surely values playing a strong, balanced game. I'd like to think that just because we didn't get as close as you did with the two gentlemen sitting either side of me, the strategy I brought to the game isn't glossed over by emotional sentiments.
I think that you and I had very similar roles in this game, just on opposite sides of the fence. And to be blatant, if you had made the Final 3, in any combination on Earth, you would have had my vote without question.
Thanks again for your questions.
This is probably not a common opinion, but I don't really care what other jurors think - you are probably one of my favorite people to play with this game, and I respect your gameplay. You were honest (which I respect the most about you), you were likable (which I love about you), and you were sociable (enough to the point where you made it where all of us want to be). No matter what anyone says, I spoke to you more than people like: Bree, Knox, Starr, and even Chad. I don't know why you get slack for a poor social game when I feel you were fine.
This is probably not a common opinion, but I don't really care what other jurors think - you are probably one of my favorite people to play with this game, and I respect your gameplay. You were honest (which I respect the most about you), you were likable (which I love about you), and you were sociable (enough to the point where you made it where all of us want to be). No matter what anyone says, I spoke to you more than people like: Bree, Knox, Starr, and even Chad. I don't know why you get slack for a poor social game when I feel you were fine.
Even though I knew that you were a threat and would need to go eventually, I wanted you to outlast Liam at the very least. And if you happened to win the next immunity, then there was nothing that could be done to get rid of you and I'd still keep my hands clean if Bree (or someone else) had to be the next to go. I wanted to be loyal to people, but if they went home by someone else's actions, then I figured I'd be in the clear. But I don't know if we'd be able to let you get past the final four. You would have easily won that endurance challenge and then probably the game.
), makes me think otherwise. Maybe someone's getting worried?